Love, Leadership and Judo

For Navy veteran Sandy Adams, ’78, martial arts laid the foundation for her leadership skills. But her wife, Pat, is the foundation for her success.

June 13, 2023

Service is in Sandy Adams’s blood—she was born on an Air Force base. Her dad, Thomas, served eight years before becoming an esteemed professor of physiology at MSU. Both of her grandfathers served—in the British army during World War I and the Marine Corps and Navy. But it wasn’t until she became a Spartan that Sandy learned to lead.

“I was on the MSU judo team, and my coach, Jay Kim, planted leadership seeds by selecting me to teach judo to children one summer,” says Adams. “That sparked my calling to be a leader. It changed my life.” 

When Adams graduated in 1978, the economy was weak and unemployment was rising. The MSU career office told her she was one of two journalism students offered a salaried position at the time. 

“I was fortunate because I’d started by majoring in biology,” she said. “The science and communications combination helped me stand out.”

Adams packed her bags for her new position as a technical editor at a nuclear research laboratory in South Carolina. She soon started a judo club at the YMCA nearby.

“Judo just kept fueling my call to leadership,” she says. “Within a few years, I knew if I wanted to be in leadership as a young woman in the late ’70s, my best opportunity was the military.”

Adams set her sights on the Navy and succeeded. In 1981, she got her commission from officer candidate school in Newport, R.I., as a surface warfare officer—a new career field for women. Four years prior, women were not even allowed to serve at sea. Yet, within a year, Sandy led 80 men and women on a Navy ship based out of Italy. A year later, she was selected for an engineering position that required her to take a two-month course in San Francisco, Calif.

“One night after class, I took the bus to a gay and lesbian café in the city,” recalls Adams. “I met my future wife there, Pat. It was love at first sight.”

For the next 18 months, the pair bonded through letters and audio tapes. In late 1984, Adams transferred back to the U.S. and they moved in together. 

“At the time, U.S. laws, culture and military policies led to LGBTQ people having to be very private and cautious,” says Adams. “I realized I probably couldn’t have a successful active-duty at-sea career while in a relationship with Pat. We were always looking over our shoulders.”

Adams left active duty in 1985. The couple moved to Southern California, and Sandy landed a leadership role at a civilian company. But it wasn’t long before she returned to the Navy as a reservist.

She served in the Pacific, Desert Storm and the Pentagon. She was in Afghanistan in 2011 when the discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy was repealed Adams no longer feared court-martialing for being gay, but didn’t feel it was the right time to come out. She was promoted to Rear Admiral (Lower Half )—one of the Navy’s highest-ranking officers.

Two years later, Sandy was ready. She and Pat got married—making Adams the first openly gay admiral to marry in the Navy.

“We’ve been together 40 years, and I led in the military for 34. Pat is the foundation for my success,” says Adams. “She sacrificed just like all military families do when their loved one deploys. I couldn’t have done it without her.”

 

Contributing Writer(s): Sarah Carpenter, '00